A work in progress..
I haven't figured out what the other people on the platform will look like. I was thinking of something on the simpler side like people in drab raincoats so they don't add too much noise to the background.
I could use some help/ideas to make the train look like it's quickly moving away without blur
I want to encourage everyone to give me some feedback!
Hey Jeff,
ReplyDeleteThis is a good start. The narrative of the image, for me, is about the female. So I would push that. All other elements could be secondary. Right now the train and girl compete for attention. Not sure about the ramp raising in the bkgd. Something feels wrong about it, but not sure what it is. The ceiling also feels a bit low. I think it is cramping the image. And a bit of atmosphere could help. I really like this...can't wait to see what else you do with this.
hi jeff
ReplyDeleteI agree with David. The lady and the train are competing to get our attention. More the lady than the train. I would actually switch up the composition a little and push the lady farther back to the middle ground and add something in the foreground to help bring the viewer into the image. Also the light on the train is will become really distracting to the viewer since it is so bright. Like David said atmospheric perspective would really help push objects forward and back. To help make the train feel like it's moving, I would add more papers flying around, kinda like what you already did but more. Maybe some fog? Also it would help to push the lady's flying hair more to simulate the train is going faster. It would be cool to use the flying papers and stuff as a design element to make the composition flow more. Man.. this is gonna look pretty nice.. getting excited. hahah
Hey Jeff,
ReplyDeleteDavid brings up a good point about the ramp. It may be that the brown bubbley thing is curving alongside the ramp making it seem as though the train is coming from the upper left direction as well? I agree with Kyle's suggestion of playing with the girls hair. Maybe she can be hunched over a bit with her hair blowing in the direction the train is coming from? I know that at the bart station, I tend to sort of turn my head a bit and squint to avoid the wind and dust action from flying into my eyes. I like the idea of the raincoats, I think it can help portray movement if you have it sort of blowing in the direction of the wind. It maybe be a bit cliche, but you can also have a man holding onto his hat? I keep thinking of the rules of 3 with the paper illuminated. Maybe the girl can be trying to reach for it as it flies into the direction of the incoming train. It could add a bit of story...maybe the paper was really important and she shows distress as it flies away? Perhaps you can have a piece of paper flapping at the front corner of the train to show a really fast train? I hope I was helpful. This piece is looking really good!